To Whom It May Concern
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when JJ decides it's time to resign?


**_A/N - Thanks to a great co-writer and friend, tonnie2001969. Thanks so much. Please read & review. Let us know your thoughts! Happy Reading!_**

**To Whom It May Concern**

Walking up the short metal stairs, Jennifer Jareau once again glanced around the deserted bullpen. She had timed this little venture, knowing that all of the other agents would be out of the building at this time, and she was going to take advantage of their absence to get in and out before she met with any roadblocks.

Reaching his office with minimal fuss, JJ pushed opened the door and stepped quickly into the darkened room. Her hands barely shook as she deposited the long plain envelope in the middle of his blotter, then turned away. Hesitating for a moment before she reached the door, she glanced back over her shoulder, the plain white paper gleaming in the otherwise dark room.

Quickly stepping back to his desk, she grabbed a pen and scribbled his first name on the unmarred surface. Telling herself that this was it, that nothing else needed to be done, she dropped the fountain pen back in its place, and replaced the envelope. Staring down at his name, she wondered, for just a moment, how she was going to be able to leave the very people that had become her family. Straightening her spine, she forced herself to remember her reasoning. Her real family was that little boy waiting for her at home...that precious child that needed his mother as much as she needed him. she had learned her lesson watching Aaron Hotchner, and she was not about to have to make the same choices. Not while she still had other options.

And this time, when she walked out of his office, she closed the door behind her and didn't look back. Jennifer Jareau had just resigned from the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

*******

Sighing as he dropped into his leather chair an hour later, he frowned as he noticed the ivory envelope placed carefully in the center of his desk's blotter. Fingering the envelope with the familiar scrawl, he shook his head. Why would Jen have left him a note? He'd seen her as she was leaving; she hadn't mentioned anything as she'd said a soft goodnight.

Carefully splitting the seal with a letter opener, he scanned the short letter quickly, his face clenching in anger. That little coward. She slipped into his office under cover of night and left this! Then she'd slinked out of here before he'd been able to question her about it!"

Standing abruptly and shoving the letter into his suit pocket, he grabbed his keys from the corner of his desk. He'd be damned if he'd let her do this without an explanation.

*******

Standing in front of her apartment door twenty minutes later, Dave resisted the urge to beat his fist against the oak. But, he knew Jennifer Jareau. His bluster wouldn't work on her. She'd listen while he ranted and then she'd calmly raise her brow at him and ask him if he was done. It was one of the reasons he'd fallen in love with her. He didn't scare her and she wouldn't cow tow to him. Trying to regulate his breathing as he stood motionless in front of the door, he closed his eyes and thought of the woman inside. Beautiful would be the first thing that came to many men's minds when they drew up an image of Jennifer Jareau. But those men would be fools. Because despite her beauty, the one quality the tiny blonde media coordinator had in spades was her intelligence. It hadn't been her looks that had attracted him, though he couldn't deny her attractiveness. No, it was her mind. The soft spoken way she could articulate her thoughts. The way she could sway even the most hardened reporters and police officers to her way of thinking with just a well spoken few words. She was honest, tactful and discreet. Three qualities that he'd always had trouble with before meeting her. And now, after everything, she was trying to walk out on him. Logically he knew it wasn't him that she was running from. God knew, he'd never shared his feelings with her. No, she was running, but it wasn't from him. He just needed to find out what it was. And squash it like a bug. Because the idea of her leaving wasn't an option he'd accept.

Finally raising his hand, he knocked gently on the door, mindful of the potentially sleeping baby inside. He only had to wait a moment for her resolved face to appear.

"I guess I should have expected you," she sighed, widening the door.

"You think?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her before shaking the crumpled ivory envelope in her face. "I think, you might have some explaining to do. I thought more of you, JJ. Never took you for a coward before…but slipping into my office under cover of darkness and leaving this for me without even a word…that's just sneaky."

"The letter says it all, Dave," JJ replied evenly.

"The _LETTER_ doesn't say jack shit!" he growled.

"Dave, do me a favor and take it at face value," JJ sighed, moving aside so he could enter.

"The hell I will. I want answers!" he demanded. "Since when have you been unsatisfied at the BAU."

"This hasn't got anything to do with job satisfaction," JJ mumbled, watching him carefully.

"Then what the hell is it about? Money?" Dave questioned. Money he could handle; he could get her more money.

"Not about the money either," JJ shook her head.

"Jen, you aren't helping me here," Dave bit out. "You might as well tell me since I'm not leaving here until I get some answers," he threatened, crossing his arms over his chest as he propped against the back of her couch, facing her.

"Has it occurred to you that I don't owe you any reasons?" JJ asked curiously.

"The thought crossed my mind," Dave nodded. "_THEN_ I blew it off," he said gruffly. "You can't _DO_ this!"

"It's already done, Dave," JJ shrugged.

"So you're just gonna walk away?" he asked sharply.

"I wouldn't be the first that did," she shot back.

"Yeah, but my reasons made sense. I've yet to hear any reasoning at all come out of your mouth!" he argued.

"Would you lower your voice?" JJ said calmly, walking toward the kitchen.

Pursing his lips, Rossi followed closely behind her. "It wasn't my intention to come in here and yell at you, Jen. But, damn it, this doesn't make any sense," he said, his voice an octave lower. "Jesus, babe, if your letter had been any more impersonal, I'd swear you'd have pulled it out of a book somewhere. You cited the most generic reason for leaving there is. Personal reasons. I want to know what the hell personal reason you have that you felt like you had to quit over it. Whatever it is, I can fix it!"

"A letter of resignation isn't supposed to be a cathartic work of art, full of prose and emotion, Rossi," JJ snorted. "And as for my reasons, since when do you think you get the right to invade my personal life?"

"Since you started making rash dumbass decisions," Dave retorted. "Start talking, Jennifer."

"I'm leaving the FBI, Rossi. Full stop. I said so in the letter you're holding in your hand," she said, nodding to the envelope he clutched tightly. "That's the only explanation you need."

"Who else did you send a copy to, JJ?" Dave growled, praying this had made it no further than him.

"Excuse me?" she asked, confused as she pushed a mug of coffee at him.

"Have you forwarded this to Human Resourses? Strauss?" he asked briskly.

"No, why? I figured you'd see that it got where it need to go," JJ shrugged, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Oh, I will!" he growled, viciously shredding the envelope in his hand and throwing it violently into her trash can. Satisfied, he brushed his hands against his suit jacket. "Good! Now maybe I can prevent anybody from ever knowing about your momentary lapse of sanity!"

Cocking her head at him, JJ asked innocently, "Did that help?"

"If it showed you what I think about your resignation, it did," he replied promptly.

Shaking her head at him, JJ said evenly, "You realize that it's a simple matter to type another one and send it to whoever I want. I was trying to show you a measure of respect by giving it to you. Evidently, _THAT_ was a waste of my time."

"Shove your goddamned respect up your ass, Jareau! I don't want it. What I want are viable reasons for wrecking a very promising career that you worked like hell to build!"

Both heads turning toward the doorway as the angry whimpers of an infant filtered into the room, Dave watched JJ sigh and scoot back her chair from the kitchen table immediately.

"I need to check on the baby," JJ said softly, quickly moving out of the room as he nodded. Hearing her faintly singing to the baby a few minutes later, Dave closed his eyes. He'd always known JJ was an excellent mother, but hearing her gently croon to the fussy baby only reinforced the feeling. Hearing her voice die away, he fidgeted in his seat as the minutes ticked by.

Wondering if she'd decided to ignore him altogether, Dave scooted his chair back, his intent to find her and make her listen. Bu as he reached the kitchen door, he almost crashed into her.

Holding the baby, she looked up into dark, frustrated eyes. "He's fussy tonight and doesn't want to lie back down. I'm having to hold him more," she apologized.

"JJ, do whatever needs to be done," Dave sighed.

Stilling her as she began to ease into a kitchen chair, he asked, "Wouldn't you both be more comfortable in a real chair?"

Glancing up at him, JJ swallowed. She didn't want to have this conversation with him, but she didn't want him to leave either. "I usually rock him in my bedroom. Come with us?"

Nodding shortly, Dave grabbed both mugs of their coffee, following her out of the room and down the short hallway to her bedroom. Watching as she settled herself in one of the two matching upholstered recliners in the room, he murmured, looking around "You've really created yourself quite a little retreat from the ouside world in here, haven't you?"

Nodding as she propped Henry against her shoulder, she whispered as she set the rocking chair in motion with a gentle nudge of her foot, "At the end, when I knew that Will and I weren't going to make it, I retreated in here and made a place where Henry and I could have some peace and quiet."

"Jen, you've never said much about what happened, but if that bastard ever-" he began with soft vehemence.

"Shhh," JJ said softly, shaking her head. "Henry and I are fine," she murmured firmly. "And, more importantly, Will is gone. Out of our lives for good. And as grateful as I am for that, it doesn't change the fact that I'm a single mother trying to do the work of two parents. I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure Henry has everything he needs."

"And how are you gonna do that unemployed?" Dave muttered under his breath.

"The better question is, 'How am I going to do that with the job I have?', David." JJ countered evenly.

"What the hell are you talking about, Jen?" Dave asked with a confused growl.

Leaning her head back against the soft chair, JJ sighed. The man listening to her wasn't going to settle for half truths, that much was certain. Deciding blunt honesty would be much less strenuous, JJ slowly said, "Dave, we both just watched a man that we like and respect lose everything that was important to him - for our job. And, it doesn't revolve around the choice he made with Foyet either. Hotch lost his family years ago when he decided to put this job first."

Feeling his stomach sink, Dave shook his head. "You aren't Hotch, JJ."

"And I never intend to be," JJ replied. "Jack is actually lucky. He has Haley _AND_ Hotch, contrary to what may be happening now. Henry only has ME to depend on," she murmured, glancing down at the baby's blonde head. "And I don't have anybody but him."

"And that isn't true," Dave said flatly. "You've both got me."

Smiling tightly, JJ assumed he meant that in the spirit of friendship, and she tried to tell herself to be grateful for that. "I appreciate that, Dave. I do. Both of us are grateful for your friendship. But, that doesn't change the fact that I have to do what's best for him at the end of the day."

Shaking his head at her, Dave took a deep breath. "I realize that, Jen. I wouldn't think much of you if your first obligation wasn't to him. But you have to think of yourself, too. What's best for you?"

"Whatever's best for him," JJ shrugged, looking away. "I can get another job. I can't replace Henry. I have to be there for him. Just because I leave the Bureau, it doesn't mean I have to stop communicating with the team. We'll always be friends. We've seen too much together not to be."

"You're making a long term decision based on a short term problem," Dave argued.

Shifting Henry in her arms, JJ whispered, "I'm going to put him down."

Nodding as he watched her rise and slip out of the room, he waited impatiently for her to come back, meeting her eyes as she returned. "Did you here what I said?"

"I heard you, Dave," JJ said softly, "I really did, but you're wrong. As long as I'm raising my child alone, this problem is always going to be there. And based on past experience, men don't have a whole lot of tolerance for the job I've got."

"Then those so-called men are idiots," Dave grumbled.

"Look, Dave, I got a wake-up call with Hotch. Seeing this business with Foyet unfold…seeing him almost killed…seeing him lose his child. These are the risks we _ALL_ take daily. I can't fight that. I can't risk Henry like that." Taking a deep sip of her coffee, she continued, "The BAU survived just fine without me while I was on maternity leave. You all got along just fine," JJ shrugged.

"I think you underestimate your own importance. I wasn't just fine, JJ," Dave retorted. "And you weren't the only one that had an up close and personal brush with reality. I got mine tonight when I read your damn letter. You think it was a simple typed piece of paper telling me that you were leaving the fucking unit that sent me flying over here like a bat out of hell?"

"Dave, I don't understand. If the letter didn't bring you here, what did?"

"What the hell do you think, JJ? I didn't much enjoy the image I had of life without you in it," Dave snapped.

Closing her eyes, JJ shook her head. "Dave, I'm not dying, I'll be around."

Slamming his mug to the table, Dave stood abruptly, jerking her out of her chair and against him. "That's not enough! You think that could be enough? You wanna know what I thought when I watched Hotch say goodbye to Haley and Jack in that hospital room? I wondered how in the hell he could let that woman walk away in the first place. He loved her. He's never stopped loving her. I'll be damned if I repeat his mistakes," Dave growled as his lips crashed against hers.

Tearing herself away from his lips as she began to lose herself, JJ stared blankly up at him shaking her head.

"Don't you dare deny you felt something!" Dave whispered violently before she could open her mouth.

"You don't know what you're doing here, David," JJ said shakily.

"The hell I don't. Point of reference, I hate it when people try to tell me how I feel, Jen. I know exactly what and how I feel, and for the first time in a long while, I'm certain I know that I'm doing the right thing."

Pushing away from him, JJ replied, "One kiss doesn't change anything. I have to protect my son…my life."

"That kiss just changed everything, Jennifer," Dave retorted sharply, pulling her back to him. "We both felt something in that kiss. You kissed me back."

"It didn't mean anything," she murmured, looking away.

""You're lying to yourself," Dave accused. "It means a lot, JJ. It means that you've got another choice to make, babe. I took a chance and told you how I feel. Don't you think you should do the same?"

"It's too much," JJ whispered frantically.

"Too bad. You and your damn letter started this. See it through," Dave replied.

"You don't understand - " JJ said, her blue eyes pleading with him.

"Yeah, I do, Jen. You made a choice to turn your life upside down to do what you think will benefit your son the most. I get that. But, you've got another choice to make now. I need you to choose whether or not to take a risk on us."

"I have to think of Henry," JJ said quickly.

"One choice isn't mutually exclusive to the other, JJ. I know you're a package deal. I want you _AND_ your baby. Together, we can make sure that Henry knows he always has two people on his side forever. Jesus, Jen, it's taken me over a year to tell you how I feel, don't ask me to walk away," he begged, kissing her gently again.

JJ stared up at David's dark eyes as he pulled away from her, her heart and mind waging a fierce internal battle. In a rush, JJ closed her eyes, admitting before her mind could convince her heart the folly of its actions, "The only thing I regretted about resigning was having to face _YOU_. That's why I left the letter. I knew I'd never make it out your door without breaking down. I didn't want to lose you."

"Whether you stay or go, Jen, that's _NEVER_ going to happen. We can find a way to make this work together. We can both win here, Bella."

Leaning her head against his chest, she allowed herself to soften against him. "Where do we go from here? I feel like we've talked ourselves into a circle."

Tilting her head up to stare into her eyes, he said softly, "We go wherever you want, JJ. If you're determined to leave the Bureau, I'll support your decision. If you want to stay, I'll find a way to make things easier for you. We both know that I'm hoping you choose the latter. If we lost you, there'd be a huge void in the team, no matter who replaces you."

Biting her lip, JJ shifted on her feet, finally saying, "Maybe I was a little hasty in making my decision."

"The decision isn't made, honey. I took care of that in the kitchen, remember?" he grinned.

"I can see now that I might have neglected to consider some other options," she replied, smiling tentatively.

"One thing about it though - this might have given us both just enough of a kick in the ass to see what was in front of us. I'll have to tape that letter back together again and frame it. It'll always remind me of what I could have lost."

"No," JJ whispered, "It'll remind us both of the moment we realized that we'd caught each other."

**The End**


End file.
